Dual incomes

We talked a lot about dual income families this week, and it just makes me want to be a stay at home mother even more. What struck me the most was Brother Williams expressing his genuine concern when his wife worked for three years when they first got married. Multiple times in class yesterday, he said if he could take back those first three years, his wife wouldn't have worked. Dual income families just have a lot of difficulties. Brother Williams told us many dual income families are not satisfied in the marriages. I wondered why? I think it's because both husband and wife have their own responsibilities outside the home, and so they're almost separated from each other when it comes to home life. Both can be stressed at work, and forget about home life, and that is what is most important. My mum runs a day care from our home, and even though she's at home, I see the stress it puts on my family. Mum is always tired once all the kids are gone, and my other siblings help her a lot with the day care kids. None of us really like that she does it, but she says it's only going to be for a few more years. (we'll see! It's already been six!) A lot of the  kids my mum watches come from dual income families and the kids will seek attention from anyone that will care about them. The saddest thing I've ever seen is one time one of the moms came to pick up her child from my mum's house, and they cried so bad and didn't want to leave our house. It was like my mum was their mum. Kids can easily adapt, and when you're at a daycare more than your own home, of course you're going to want to stay. I can't wait to be a mom someday, and stay at home with our kids, and to always be a smiling face for them when they come home from school.

How do you Love?

This week we discussed preparing for marriage. I'm taking a Marriage class this semester, and our teacher always tells us, "We need to be marriage missionaries to the world." I truly believe this because the world has a skewed idea on marriage today. We have to define "love" and what it truly stands for. Chapter six in our "Marriage and Family" talks about the different types of love, Storge, Philia, Eros, and Agape. Storge is the affection between parents and children, Philia is a love between friends and is the highest form of love. I thought about WHY it's the highest form of love? You would think a romantic love like Eros would be. But thinking about it I want a love with my husband that is a friendship as well. We were friends before lovers, and it's been amazing for us. I felt like we could really get to know each other being friends first. The last kind of love is Agape. This love is independent of one's feelings from another. More like a stranger being nice to a stranger. Or being polite to a waitress at a restaurant. I like Agape because for me it's all about being polite to someone, or being a friendly face to a stranger who might be having a bad day- you'll just never know. ALL of these types of love are important in a marriage, and I hope in 5 years time my love will develop in different ways with my husband. Be married all over again everyday with the way you love each other!

Realization.

I learned a lot this week about intimacy in class. We learned all about same-sex gender attraction this week, and my eyes were opened. Brother Williams talked a lot on how most people are just confused with their gender role, and sometimes all it takes is a little guidance to get it right. I have found in my life seeing people have same-sex attraction, I feel they do based on the examples of parents. If a child has come from a single parent home, and one spouse says bad things about the opposite gender, and if there is no example about that opposite gender in the home, then a child is left with a skewed idea of what love is, and might look for a same sex partner later on. I have seen it so much in my life with friends from High School, or even good returned missionaries. It breaks my heart.

I realized I need to work and put effort into my marriage everyday so my children can KNOW I love my husband and a marriage between a man and woman is the only way to go.

Culture.

This week we learned all about different cultures and diversity in families. There are many different types of families; single parent families, racial and ethnic families including Native americans, Asians, and Hispanics. We watched really great clips this week on families and the different cultures we come from. One was all about WASP. Which stands for White Anglo Saxon Protestant. WASPs in the video were very "stuck up", and all about their parents money. I felt like I couldn't relate to them at all! It made me think more about how diverse our country is, and how even growing up in Los Angeles, I didn't meet people like that. I'm sure there are people like that, but maybe the assumption is most WASPs are from the East Coast.

Brother Williams wanted us to write down where we have come from, and all about our families culture. I told the class a lot about how my family has a lot of English culture. This is because my very English mum was born in Basingstoke, England and moved to the U.S when she was 23. I was born in England, and to this day, still have an English passport! I was raised in America, so I don't have an accent at all, but my mum sure does, and we celebrate and love all things English! My mum makes english meals, and we have english traditions- like at Christmas we all open Christmas crackers- they're like paper tubes that you break open and there's little pressies inside! Inside the Christmas crackers are always paper crowns and we wear them on our head at Christmas! It's hilarious.

I also served my mission in England, which was super exciting, and I can't believe I served where I was born, and where my mum is from! My dad also served his mission there, but in the London South mission. I LOVED being there. I felt at home. My family definitely has an english sense of humor (very dry) and everyone over there is the exact same! I truly felt I had finally learned where my mum had come from, and why she is the way she is! People can be very closed off there at times, but also very genuine once they open up, and I feel my mum is that exact way. Brother Williams asked me, "Do you think you are closer with your family because of your culture?" And I had never thought of it that way, but I am very close with my family and it's probably because we all have the same experiences with having an English mum! And my dad who loves England as well.  I've included some pics of my family in England when they came to pick me up from my mission in 2009. I loved it, and I dream of going back everyday!

Here's us in front of Big Ben!

Us with a guard at the Tower of London.

There's me at a castle in Leeds, England on my mission! I miss it sooo much!!

Research and more research!

This week in class we learned a lot about research, and how to decipher good from bad research. We also learned of the many changes in marriage and relationships over the recent years and if we feel these key points play a significant role in our lives. Going along with this theme, many people in the world today believe in cohabitation. Cohabitation means living with someone in an intimate, sexual relationship without legally being married. In the book "Marriage and Family", it states "By 2005 nearly 6 million unmarried couples...were living together." That is crazy, but no surprise to me at all. I grew up in a small suburb outside of Los Angeles called El Segundo. I was one of two LDS kids in my grade. I look at all the kids I graduated with now. (Mostly on facebook cause I'm a stalker like that! haha!) and most of them are in relationships, living together and not married. To me, this is not good because there is a high divorce rate with cohabitation. Many have expectations in a relationship, and when those expectations don't change much after the "I do", then people are left disappointed. There's so much hype to get married, and thinking the person will change, but they are the same. Can you imagine that realization if you have already lived with the person prior to that? That would be so hard.

I'm ready for week three of Brother Williams class! I am lovin it! Bring it on!

Week One. Not Zero. :)

Week one..Not Zero. Brother Williams told us today a lot of online classes say the "First" week of school is actually "Zero" week. Weird. I love week one of school! It's such a fresh start, and you can tell fall is coming to BYU Idaho. Today we had rain and it made me so happy. 


It's been a great week in FAM160. Today we talked a lot on what we want to learn this semester, and for a good majority of the class period people were talking about divorce. I feel like people in the world today are so afraid to get married because there are so many divorces in the world today. Brother Williams did point out in class today though that 70% of divorces in America 2 years after their divorce regret the decision. It made me think we as humans don't like being alone. We like to be around people, and be intimate. It was such a shocking statistic, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized we want to stay together and be happy. 


So what do I want to become this semester? I want to become a nicer and kinder daughter, sister and most importantly, wife. My husband and I have been married a year, and I love Brenton with all my heart. I want to always be happy with him, and I have learned this year especially that that takes effort. I want to continue to have faith in our marriage and put the Lord first. I'm so excited to take this class! Until next time...   Hannah.